Dreamer

Oh, but hello, you dreamer! Long time no see, but there is a saying… “the more time you spend apart from your loved ones, the more you begin to value them” or something like this… 

I am here today, standing in front of you, on this particular day, to remind you of its importance, not as another niche or seasonal opportunity to show up online and be trendy. Still, more like a reminder that this day is unique, and we have to value it today. The reason for celebration though should be every single day cause it’s present in our lives, day-to-day.

8 March, what is it, and what is so important about it?

Well, I assume most of us know that 8 March represents International Women’s Day, and it’s the perfect opportunity to show the women in our circle that we love and appreciate them. But why do we celebrate it? 

Truth being said, right now, according to the UN declaration, represents a women’s rights movement, bringing attention to issues such as “gender equality, reproductive rights, and violence and abuse against women.”

This movement started way before its adoption by the UN, and it was somewhere around the beginning of the 20th century, more than a hundred years ago. Are things the same, are there reasons to celebrate this movement, is it working or is it another cry for help?

Let’s start by saying that I’m the person that believes that balance is key and that too much “feminism” is not quite ok, and the real ladies out there, know what I am talking about.

This movement started in an era where, women were objectified to the grossest levels, where we were used mainly for our bodies and our hormonal desire to nurture. But the same was centuries before too. The same is now. Probably in more mannered ways, but still the same problem. Yet trends change.

Yeah, we fought for equality, and we got to become doctors and lawyers and pretors and have full-time careers. We got to become everything that we desired. Yet we still fight. Why? The answer to this is that yeah, we won one fight, but the war is still going strong. We got into the fields but the working experience is not made for us, payments are low, maternity leaves are a good reason for an unexpected budget cut, a few months after you come back, or if not budget cuts, policy changes, that will make you wanna resign. Technically is equality, but is it really?

Sametime, as I was saying trends change. As a huge part of the population is still fighting for basic rights such as abortions, education, and health for women’s communities, in more evolved parts of the world, an interesting phenomenon started. Many so-called feminists started a trend that contra interfered with the goals of the first battles. That trend is what I love to call the Over Feminist Urge. Some of us took all the rights our predecessors obtained for us (only a few real to be honest) and threw them away. And no, I don’t mean that they don’t use them. I respect the females that have a calling to nurture and be stay-at-home moms and raise kinds that grow into wonderful people.

I talk about the humans that decided that it’s ok to reassure the world that we can be objectified, that we females are weak and worthless pieces of meat, that we are not able to do anything but be cared-for princesses that won’t move a finger without their protective male approval.

Now, I think you might understand what I am talking about… I talk about a specific group of people (unfortunately most of them females) that decided to ignore their gifts and abilities, just to become pretty objects, money, and resources consuming, ready to please the man next to them and never comment or use their brain.

I don’t have a problem with humans that are incapable to evolve due to physical or psychological inabilities, or even more, circumstantial problems such as poverty, and families to feed and clean. We all can’t be the same. But, when you have all the opportunities and chances.. why would you choose to give up your rights and not only yours but throw stones into other females’ work and fights.

Yeah, another trend that I observed over the years is the unhealthy competition in women’s communities. Why on Earth fight with each other? I know the number of males is significantly dropping but still, some of us became lesbians so where is the problem? Why not help each other grow? Why shame each other? The working females shame the stay-at-home mothers, and vice-versa. Is it not enough that males do it? Do we have to do it too? I said it before and I say it again, we all have gifts, different ones and we have to use them without mocking the person next to us.

 In conclusion, what I see in the world today, is not the men who are our biggest enemy or the system, it’s us.

So, what about today, when we walk into our offices and at home, and flowers and chocolates are given to us (again, almost a month apart from valentines day)? Are we worthy of them? Are we worth being celebrated? Are we more than a manifestation of love and appreciation, often served in a bouquet, that masks the real problems of the world against women?

As long as we don’t forget that we are not only birth-givers, or only stay-at-home moms, wives, or workers, or a name on a tag and that we are actual individuals, complex ones, that can make a change, and decide that that change is for the better, yeah, then let’s celebrate, cause we are (part of us) indeed fighters and change-makers, but most importantly, we are dreamers and we dream of a better world for females.

Celebrate you, feminity woman, take the roses, take the dinner, be with a man that gives you all of this and be in a community that gives you the credit for being YOU, as long as you understand that every single day you should be given credit for the change you make. The battle it’s not won. 8 March is not the celebration of the war-winning, it’s an armistice, tomorrow, if you don’t contribute to the constant fight, you’ll get back to being one name, one body on the next side of the bed, one coworker that can be smoked. Be the change, woman.

#adremerlife,

Cristiana Apreutese