Dreamer

Hello dreamers and happy Friday! I hope the weekend finds you fine and that you are keeping yourself away from the heat wave. I will stay away and hide in a salt mine that I’ll present to you soon. 

However today’s talk is not about weekend plans, but more about the values we have and, as a disclaimer, the fans of the patriarchal systems might wanna live because tonight we talk about feminity. 

No, not feminism, but feminity. However, it’s a more complex point of view that dress up lovely, make up and always smile, cause we women are feminine and beautiful even when we don’t smile.

The old concept of feminity

Yeah, we all know the old concept of feminity and what is still presented in some media channels about feminity. A woman is considered feminine when she is mostly objectified. When she is a damsel in distress. When she needs a man to do the dirty jobs that she can’t possibly do, either because it’s hard or energy consuming. 

A feminine woman should not wear pants, only skirts, and those skirts better be flattering, and show her curves. And all the blouses should not be too revealing but should show some skin, cause a feminine woman should have trust in herself enough to show her beauty, but not too much to be intimidating. 

A feminine woman should take care of the skin, of her face, but not wear makeup like clowns. A feminine woman should take care of the house she lives in, to make it a home, but she shouldn’t work. She should know all of the recipes like a good housekeeper, and she should know how to sew and make art with her hands. But she shouldn’t know how to handle a screwdriver. 

A feminine woman should blush every time she gets a glare from a man, but she shouldn’t encourage it cause God helps, if something unwanted happens, it’s her fault.

A feminine woman is everything but herself.

The modern concept of feminity

If in the past women were everything but themselves and mostly were objectified to some flare skirts, flowers by the ear, and smiles, now things changed.

A feminine woman in the opinion of (most) feminists is a badass that can do anything and does anything. A feminine woman is someone who isn’t afraid to show her skin, and who wears red lipstick no matter what. A feminine woman is someone willing to risk her life because of body positivity standards.

A feminine woman is capable and encouraged to use vulgar language. A feminine woman is encouraged to show off her sexuality. A feminine woman is spending her time at the office working for her dreams. A feminine woman is preoccupied with many things but not a man’s validation.

A feminine woman is everything but herself because she is busy proving men wrong, and proving they are better.

Feminity

But at the end of the day, what is a feminine woman? Or what should it be? Cause we see the patriarchal and the feminist opinion. Well, in my dreamer opinion, a feminine woman is herself. 

A feminine woman is someone who took the time to know herself, and her needs. A feminine woman knows her body, her pleasures, her hopes, and her dreams. And she works towards them, only towards them.

A feminine woman isn’t spending her time fighting a battle against men. She knows better that she can achieve everything by herself. A feminine woman knows that accepting help from men isn’t a sign of vulnerability but a sign of strength.

A feminine woman smiles when she feels and dresses as she pleases and looks as if she needs to feel ok.

And no, I’m not talking from a dark room without a connection with the outside world. I know patriarchy is still here, and I see the role of feminism when it’s needed. 

However, I also know a feminine woman is always surrounding herself with the right men so, she can be anything she is. A feminine woman is herself.

Have #adreamerlife,

Cristiana Apreutese