Dreamer

Have you ever looked back and realised how many of your childhood friends are still around? How many new friends do you have? Who you thought you’ll be spending your days with and who is still around?

Yeah, I know, things are a little different than you imagined and that’s ok!

Some friendships we thought were indestructible are now in the past. If saying hello is still an option things didn’t end up so badly, or they did but at least one of you understood that you’ll respect yourself if you admit your past and don’t pass right beside it, ignoring it.

Main idea is the same: those friendships are not for us anymore. We grew apart, we want different things, we have different principles, goals, we are different people now.

While this happened, many friendships faded away. In silence, things changed and they will never be the same. Maybe other people came into our lives and stayed. Many new people changed our lives. That doesn’t mean that they replaced our old friends or that we trade them.

People in our lives are still human beings so, we can’t decide for them!

If someone wants to be in your life, even if you push them away, they will be in your life! They will find a way to be in your life in silence, not interrupting you, not disturbing, but they will be.

At least this is what I like to believe.

What about those new friendships? Why they seem much more stronger and intense than other? Why people we met for just few months create stronger bonds with us than some people we know for a lifetime?

Well, all around the world in different form you can hear a saying: “People won’t come in our lives when we want them but when we need them” also you can hear something like this “It’s not the person you expect more but the one you need more”.

Those sayings have the same core: Change has its own plans for you! Stop wasting your time planning it, expecting it, when it comes just embrace it and be happy about it!

So, those new people came in our life when we need them, but also when they need us. They come in our lives when a change is about to happen for us and for them.

Basically we will guide each other through this change, even if we talk about small things or big things, even if we talk about finding a new passion, moving someplace else, finding a new group, adopting a pet or so on.

You might ask of course: those old friends came in our lifes at some point, we weren’t born friends, so they came in our lifes to make a change too, right?

The answer is they did came in our lives to make a change, a change related to our needs a the time, a change that now you’ll find hard to see it, but back then it was all you needed.

Me for example,I was a lonelier kid. Kids wouldn’t play with me in kindergarten, I would be sad about it, but living with it. When I was 5, I was playing outside with some neighbours and an old lady, 3 houses near me, asked me to go to her. I wouldn’t have done it because well, I didn’t felt like it. My grandma saw and took me by the hand and we both walked there. That old lady had her granddaughter over and she wanted to play together. At first I didn’t really wanted, but I did it anyway cause well, I was a good girl and listened to my grandma.

Few days later we were inseparable, she was my best friend and she was my best friend for almost ten years. She would stay at my place every summer, we would play, talk about boys and so on, until one summer when she didn’t come over anymore.

We never knew when she would stay at my place for the last time. Everything just faded away. We are still friends, but not best friends. I know that she made a huge change in my life, she showed me what true friendship was and I am grateful for it even if now we see each other 2-3 times a year.

Meanwhile I met new people, I bonded with some, I made new best friends.

Did I replaced her? No! Did life showed us people that are more suitable for the journey to come? Yes! Are we still friends? Yes! Things will ever go back? Prabably not! And it’s fine, she is and always be part of my family!

Those new friends, same as old ones, part of them will be in our lives and other will fade away.

But what makes someone stay in our life? Or what makes us truly bond?What makes some friends, old or new, our family?

The answer is simple: Experiences!

We all have different experiences through the life, some of them leaving scars. No, not visible scars, but soul scars. Those scars define us! The moment we got them until the end, those scars will be a part of us.

Many people have similar scars, experiences even if they know it or not! Many people will get scars together!

Those people will understand each other better, will resonate, will know how to act, how to be there, they will be the man in storm for each other.

Those people will become family, will love each other without knowing it, will be there even if they are at the end of the world, will surprise you when you least expect it!

Rest? Well they will fade away… .

Friendships that fade away are still our friendships don’t get me wrong, and are still equally important! We have to be grateful for them, to embrace them, to understand that they were part of the process, part of our journey, to understand that without them we wouldn’t be able to embrace our new friends, to treat them the way they need. Without them we wouldn’t be ready for the friends that will become our family!

We should be grateful and hope that they are on their way to a new experience that will show them those friends that will stay!

So, the reason why some friends become our family while other fade away is that those friends are someone else’s family and we should let them free, let them find their family!

Crissu